Weekend in the dark.

I have not been as honest as I would like to be on this blog. Mainly because I am frightened about what people may see and read. I have been internalizing a lot of emotions and this blog was meant to be a place where I could share ideas, emotions and creations with like minded folk becasue in "real life" most people around me could never understand my creativity, take it seriously or even be bothered to give it a second glance. I need to stop worrying about what other people think and truly start believing in myself and my own creativity. I have been shielding myself from so many opportunities because I have never felt good enough and that is something honest I would like to share. I have never ever felt confident. I mean truly confident about anything. I was never someone who 100% believed in myself and I need to stop waiting for someone to believe in me because what is the point? If I don't even recognise my own creativity. I may not be the best at anything right now but maybe if I keep trying and stop believing in the people who will never help me get anywhere I can start moving foward with myself.

For now I will quietly work harder. Quietly push myself. Quietly make as much noise as I can and keep breathing my own air. In that sense I need to stop wasting time, I am constantly wasting time on things, people who do not even care about me. I need to cut those people out and start focusing on myself. I need to star believing that I am important and that what I have to say matters. I need some more time alone with myself to discover the kind of person I truly am. I am sorry this post is so heavy but I need to get some of this stuff out. This is my blog. This is where I share my thoughts. Not on some useless pointless facebook status update. This blog is my space. My place of freedom. and I can do what ever the fuck I want here.

A word of advice for anyone who is reading this. Put yourself FIRST and always remember your self-worth is more important than what anyone thinks of you and never let anyone make you feel like you are less than what you think you are. NO ONE has that right. These pics I posted are really just what I did this weekend. Drank wine, smoked cigarettes and as you can see by this blog post I had time to think. I am not going to cater to anyone else's wishes. I am going to create my own path as much as I can.